Topic : Friend or Foe

Have you ever seen the movie ‘Beaches’, or even Steel Magnolias’? What about ‘Thelma & Louise’. Friendship till death, I’m talking ride and die chicks. In the scriptures we have Ruth and Naomi , Judith and her handmaid, but yet Israelite women just can’t get together for long periods of time without some drama going on. It really boils down to the house verse the field slave mentality when someone thinks their better because of something that master done said or did(this modern world). Education level , or an invented  status . We have been so indoctrinated into what is  acceptable in this world, that we have forgotten to maintain what is acceptable to God. In the 1980s movie School Daze, you see a depiction of the Wannabees vs. the Jiggaboos., sad but true, as much as things have changed they have stayed the same…..the haves and the have nots.

When I first started my repentant life, my old associates started fading away….nothing in common anymore.  When I had problems, the stuff they told me was off the charts….. wicked & crazy . I’m talking scripture trying to get myself  together, they’re talking about going to the club. Slowly I found myself by myself. Many sisters have a similar experience. Now in the world I was very selective about the people I called my girlfriends….my parents told me you have people you know, those you associate with, and very little if any friends. But family you have always. So,  I asked my husband ‘if Israel is a nation , a royal family…..where are the sisters’?

One sister recently told me “why should she stop talking to her girls in the world when the women in Israel are worse because they should  know better”…  some are just as sneaky, rebellious , nasty, competitive, evil, coveteous, jealous ,dirty, etc & witchy….with the letter ‘b’  and just plain old shiesty. What kind of example is that?  I for one don’t want to be depicted as such, and I find it ironic that those who make excuses for this behavior also wish to place the repentant Israelite man and woman in a negative light because they don’t want to keep the commandments …..

Don’t be like one of these women who share these characteristics . Look very closely at the people who are in your immediate circle, they are indeed a reflection of you. Birds of a feather, flock together…

2 Corinthians  13 vs 5

examine yourselves, whether you be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates .

Reprobate -someone who pursues evil in preference to good, condemned by God to eternal damnation

Galatians 5 vs 19-21

now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envying, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like; of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that   they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 3 vs.3

for ye are yet carnal; for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal and walk as men?

James 4 vs 4

know ye not that friendship with this world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is an enemy of God.

Webster’s definition s

friend ( ship )….someone on terms of affection and regard for another who is neither relative or lover,….someone who freely supports and helps out of good will,….showing interest and good will amiable, manifesting kindness, sympathetic, not hostile.

Foe….enemy, adversary

Enemy…a person who bears another ill will and actively works or fights against   him; someone who opposes, dis-approves , or works against ideas beliefs  etc.

Shiesty….untrustworthy, sneaky, suspicious and shady

There is an old expression…keep your friends close and your enemies closer…truly the Lord knows his people!!!

Proverbs 18 vs. 24

a man that hath friends must show himself friendly; and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

As I’ve matured  and grown older and wiser I have made more of an effort to reach out and share experiences with women in a sincere effort to be “friendly’. I am not the type to be on the phone all day, every day…..between work and raising a family it’s really difficult…. and not necessary when  the word of the Lord is the glue that binds you together but when you do hear or see me know the love is there.( E-mail, skype, and texting has made it much easier and fun for me ) Gift or no gift in hand it’s what’s in your heart that really matters. Based on my own personal testimony my 11 year old daughter recently said to me, all this time you thought you only had one friend, and she wasn’t even real, but the Lord   proved you wrong. He has given you so much more and you never even knew it….they were always there but you couldn’t see it. So true. Words of wisdom from a child…..

Malachi 3 vs 16

Then they that feared the Lord spake  often one to another; and the Lord hearkened and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that thought upon his name

Ecc 9 vs.10…

forsake not an old friend; for the new is not comparable to him; a new friend is as new wine;, when it is old, thou shalt drink it with pleasure.

Ecc 22 vs. 20-22…
whoso casteth a stone at the birds frayeth them away; and he that upbraideth his friend breaketh friendship….though thou drewest a sword at thy friend, yet despair not; for there may be a returning to favour …if thou hast opened thy mouth against thy friend, fear not; for there may be a reconciliation; except for upbraiding, or pride, or disclosing of secrets, or a treacherous wound for these things every friend shall depart.

Definition of upbraiding….to scold, bring reproach, cause to feel disgraced or hurt   wrongfully

1 Thess 5 vs.21….
prove all things; hold fast that which is good

Apocrypha Ecc.6 vs.5- 8…
be at peace with many; nevertheless have but one counselor of a thousand,….if thou wouldest get a friend, prove him first, and be not hasty to credit him…..for some man is a friend for his own occasion, and will not abide in the day of thy trouble.

Apocrypha Ecc 37 vs. 7-10….
every counselor extolleth  counsel; but there is some that counselleth for himself. Beware of a counselor , and know before what need he hath; for he will counsel for himself; lest he cast the lot upon thee, and say unto thee, Thy way is good; and afterward he stand on the other side, to see what shall befall thee…..consult not with one that suspecteth  thee; and hide thy counsel from such as envy thee.

Some people are only friends because of personal reasons…it could be for status, popularity , gifts or information…could be you have one buddy you like to go shopping with, another for food or clothing, you could have another sister that you rely on for babysitting or confiding in just for conversation. There is a certain give and take because both people are in agreement and need to use the other person for something they need. Someone could be trying to justify their own sins, because they know you are not going to say or do anything   because of what their own personal  desires  or needs may be. Careful who you share anything with, just because a sister has a border of blue and fringes does not mean she is not fighting demons herself so don’t feed into it….Ever. Satan himself was able to transform himself into an angel of light.

Beware , some people could be using you for what you have to offer….you may not see it, some feed off of the same things you do which is why you bonded initially. You add drama, success, or money , etc. to the equation …explosives!!!…. only time will tell the story, so be prepared  when the scriptures come forth whether your  ‘friendship’ was of the Lord.

Apocrypha Ecc  27vs 16-27…
whoso discovereth  secrets  loseth credit; and shall never find friend to mind ….

Proverbs 20 vs 19…..
he that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets; therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.

This person cannot be trusted to keep secrets, she will tell everybody’s business, to different people including you and  probably lie about it., because then you ( or other people ) won’t tell her anything else to feed her habit. This information makes them feel important and powerful in their immediate circle. This is a what I call a double “G” or a ghetto gossiper. Knowing what this person has done previously if you trust this person now with your personal business; or anothers’…   shame on you.……..this is not how the Lord intended for our women to be.

Love thy friend, and be faithful unto him; but if thou bewrayeth  his secrets, follow  no more after him….for as a man hath destroyed his enemy; so hast thou lost the love of thy neighbor….as one that letteth a bird go out of his hand, so hast thou let thy neighbor go, and shall not get him again….follow after him no more, for he is too far off; he is as a roe escaped out of the snare…..when thou art present, he will speak sweetly, and will admire thy words; but at the last he will writhe his mouth and slander thy sayings…..I have hated many things; but nothing like him for the Lord will hate him…… whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein, and he that setteth a trap shall be taken therein…….he that worketh mischief . it shall fall upon him, and he shall not know whence it cometh.

Sometimes life can seem like a soap opera, with its ups and downs but there is always a learning lesson , that the Lord has created just for you. It had to happen to try your faith, in addition, another sister is going to be able to overcome because of your example…..just like our foremothers in the scriptures. Act one  & scene two, as the drama unfolds…don’t start nothing won’t be nothing….what goes around comes around, it’s a beautiful thing. Just wait… you may never know what happened but the Lord knows.

Romans 12 vs 19-21….
dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves…..; for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord

Matthew 12 vs. 36,37…..
but I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

Numbers 23 vs. 19…..
God is not a man that he should lie; neither the son of  man that he should repent; hath he said, and shall he not do it? Or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?

Apocrypha  Ecc. 28vs.7….remember the commandments, and bear no malice to thy neighbor; remember the covenant of the Highest, and wink  at ignorance.

I know from experience ( pause , as I remove the many knives from my back  I still have a backbone….didn’t quite get to my spine, some bounced off and my walk is still good  but they hurt like hell) , yet I’m still standing taller and stronger, wiser than before . You can be someone’s friend and they ARE TRULY NOT YOUR FRIEND. How?  You are applying the scriptures to the relationship and they are not, or just applying some when they feel like it or to justify a desire or purpose. Or vice versa.  Women are emotional creatures, we overact, fallout, we cry, we mourn, for some it’s my way or the highway….some women have to have the final word  It’s spiritual not personal, so treat it as such …people grow apart , some people aren’t worth the tears…  so keep it moving….as the director  ( Most High )yells “cut” end scene !

Apocrypha 37 vs. 1 &2…

Every friend saith, I am his friend also; but there is a friend, which is  only a friend in name ……Is it not grief unto death when a companion and friend is turned to an enemy?

Palms 35 vs. 11-14

false witnesses did rise up; they laid to my charge things that I knew not……they rewarded me evil for good to the spoiling of my soul….but as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth; I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned to my on bosom. I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother; I bowed down heavily as one that mourneth for his mother.

I came across an article recently at the hair salon that made me think about my own relationships with fellow Isrealite women……ask yourself the same….

‘Depending on where you are in your own journey toward self-love and sisterhood, you may still have to do the emotional  work of dismantling distrustful and demeaning attitudes towards other black women’

Where are you in your own individual spiritual journey?  Are you applying the scriptures and prayer for help and healing for yourself and other sisters? Are you looking to justify your sins with  or without excuses? Do you always have something negative to say about other people, especially your fellow sisters? Are you always  right , and everyone else is wrong?  Have you forgiven yourself and others for hurts you have gone through or possibly caused?

“The sister accord’……

Do you resolve to be honest and truthful?  Forgiving  and  supportive? Be thoughtful with your words, ensuring that your every encounter and conversation is uplifting according to the scriptures?  Refrain from negative thoughts and words about one another. To remain a source of strength in the time of a storm and a confidant ,  to be loyal and faithful to your friendships in Christ.

How we act and treat one another, is how our physical and spiritual daughters will act towards one another, we must break the cycle.

Sisters individually we must work on correcting ourselves and changing through repentance with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  Only together in unity and righteousness are we strong and able to stand dignified in  our  faith & beautiful before all .

Ruth  vs  16, 17

And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee; for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge; thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God;….Where thou diest , will I die, and there will I be buried ; the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.